dear readers

it has been awhile since i posted. sadly, not long after my last blog post, i got the terrible news that one of my most loved and precious friends had very sadly passed away. she was going to be one of my bridesmaids.

i first met Dyan when we were 12 at our church. we shared a common link – i was half Filipino and she was the only other Filipino girl. the more i knew her, the more i liked her. we shared tents at camps, weekly lunches at church, Filipino family angst and a common love for Xena. it was Dy that introduced me to my addiction of Archie comics that we would read together. she taught me how to pout and do ‘sexy’ photos.. lol. she was lovely, sweet and kind. throughout the years we grew closer. she became one of my best friends and i loved her very, very much. i am proud to have been able to be there to watch her blossom into the woman that she became – one of the most beautiful women i have ever known. people use the phrase ‘she was beautiful, inside and out’. well i can’t think of a truer way to describe our dear Dy. that’s exactly what she was.

for about 8 months she was even my fiance’s housemate. i still have memories of her potting around his house in the inner west, cooking apricot chicken or mushrooms or ordering pizza with her boyfriend and brother whom she was so close to and was often at the house. i miss that time. i wish so much that i had made more of an effort to spend more time with her then.

out of all our group of friends at church, she was the purest, sweetest, kindest of us all. she was truly a living angel. she had so many traits to be admired.

at just the young age of 20 she became head elder at our church (a high privilege that is reserved for much older members of church. that she became an elder at that age is essentially unheard of in the Seventh day Adventist church). she was talented at sports, succeeded academically (about a thousand times better than me), not to mention she was drop dead gorgeous. she was always so beautifully and stylishly dressed – one of the best presented ladies i ever had the pleasure to know. she blogged. she designed photo shoots with her cousins. she spent so much of her time trying to help others – she was always there to help and give her time, to listen or to help out with other people’s projects. she was always there helping to raise money for the poor, door knocking for charities, helping to look after kids at church or volunteering for other good causes.

i have so many memories of her. i miss her so much. i know it’s probably wrong but i still can’t but help that i wish i had picked up the damn phone and called her last week. it had been a couple of weeks since i had seen her and right now i would do anything to hear her voice or see her again or that it was all just a bad dream and we could all wake up. it can’t be that i didn’t see her for a few weeks and she can just be gone. words could never fully describe how much we miss her.

I had the privilege of reading the following at her funeral, yesterday.

Dyan was one of the most special girls I have ever known and she was one of my best friends — and one of the most lovely people I ever knew. Anyone who ever met Dyan knew she was the sweetest, kindest, most down to earth person. Friends of mine that only met her once or twice have commented to me that they always remembered her presence and how much they had liked meeting her if only for a short time. That was the kind of person she was — so memorable. She had an impact on everyone she met. She was such a rare person, so determined to please others and to do her best to help other people. I have not seen such kindness and generosity of spirit like Dy’s in any other person.

I knew how much she loved Jesus. I know with an absolute certainty and from personal experience that God loved Dyan very, very much. It was almost unfair how wonderful Dy was — almost like she made any other girl look bad! Not only was she a stunningly gorgeous girl, she was so clever, talented at her hobbies and had the love of a great guy — something that I know brought her much joy.

I never knew her to fight with anyone, speak a single unkind word about anyone or speak selfishly. She was never petty or held grudges. I wish I could be more like her. She inspires me now, every day, to be a better person.

The loss of her is crippling and breaks our hearts. It will take us a long time to be able to function without her here — without her sitting next to me in the pew every week, without our weekly talks at the lunch table, or hearing that beautiful laugh of hers… or even the simple pleasure of a hug. In a way, I don’t want to ‘get over this’ or ‘move on’ because it means that she won’t be here any more, and that thought is so hard.

One thing that gets me by every day is the thought that the next thing Dy sees when she opens her eyes is our Lord. What a magnificent sight that will be. God promises that we get to spend eternity together – and that is something that I am looking forward to (as are we all) very much. Until then, I will cherish our precious memories together. I pray that each and every one of them will never fade.

Dyan — see ya soon. 🙂

Poem to finish: God’s Garden
God looked around his garden And He found an empty place. And then He looked down upon the earth, And saw your tired face. He put His arms around you, And lifted you to rest. God’s garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering, He knew you were in pain, He knew that you would never Get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough, And the hills were hard to climb, So He closed your weary eyelids, And whispered “Peace be thine.” It broke our hearts to lose you. But you didn’t go alone, For part of us went with you, The day God called you home.

A video tribute to Dy:

So i guess this kind of almost an apology. This blog is going on hiatus for awhile. I’m not sure when I will write next. Right now I don’t feel like doing much of anything for a long time. i’ve definitely lost the wedding mojo. i don’t feel like being there on my wedding day without Dy. I can barely imagine even being happy on that day.

I want to ask you a favour though, before I go for now. Please make sure you call your loved ones. Tell them that you love them. Make an effort to catch up with them more often. I cannot tell you how much I and we all wish that we could have had more memories with our sweet Dy. Don’t ever wait until it’s too late and never lose sight of what is truly important to you.

Love you all xx


our last photo together on may 1 2011 at our engagement party. two short weeks before she passed.